The Randomly Doomed Adventures At Whispering Rock
by Bankarasu
Summary: Urg... Raz returns to camp and already poo has hit the fan. Children exploding, classic Government fights, rabid squirrels, crazy bus drivers, He's gonna need a certain muffininduced friend and Lili to survive.
1. Bus ride from Hell

Okay. To start things off,I have been obsessed with this friggin aweswome game that rox. Cough. Yeah. AndI will probably be shot by every fan for this fic. heh. deeeelicious... okay. so now that everyone knows I'm insane, let it begin.

Disclaimer: I do not own psychonauts, cause if I did, urg... guh... smiggle ...eh well...stuff... however, i do own this muffin Spunky. Oh yes I do.

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Raz stared out the window of the "Whispering Rock Psychic Camp" and let out a sigh. Of all the days that could've been stormy, it had to be on the exact day of him returning to camp. Right at the moment, he was the only kid on the bus and was pretty bored. The bus driver was pretty large, mumbled at random times, and kept reaching under his crotch to pull out random stuff. As he would thrash in his seat, the bus would rock even more than it was already swaying. Spiratic movements combined with a holy evilness of turbulence would explain something. And to add to that, Raz was pretty sure thew bus driver was blind. Or stupid. He DID come awfully close to nailing some pedestrians. 

Raztwitched as the Bus driver rattled around some, then promptlypulled out a puppy and put it in the basket next to him, and muttered about 'how do this get here?'.

The bus came to a screeching halt sideways and Raz thought he would be flung out the opposite window. He braced for impact but his face connected with the basket-puppy, who yipped and ran out the bus as its' door opened. Raz rubbed his face and waited to see who came on.

A shortish almost gothic-emo girl walked on. She had pig tails and was eyeing the bus driver with lethargic eye-twitchyness as he pulled more stuff out from under his crotch. (A/n: yes I am aware of how disgusting this is.)

"Lili!" Raz called. Lili turned to see him at the back of the bus and gave him a slight tiredsmile. He waved her to come sit down by him.

As soon as Lili was halfway across the aisle, the bus driver floored it, sending the bus into another faze of doomed spazticness. Lili lurched forward and slid all the way to where Raz was, who was knocked five seconds unconscious but recovered. This continued for two more seconds until Lili smacked him, and he regained sanity.

"I'm gonna fry that driver." She said under her breath as she took a seat in front of Raz.

"Come on, don't be that way." Raz interjected. In response, Lili hissed with a very demonic face. Too demonic to be described bacause of general laziness and dull imagination. "so whats got you all worked up all of a sudden?"

"Well, for one, he made me scrape my already infected knee." She poined to confirm. "Second, this ride makes me want to hurl."

"Yeah, I've had worse." Raz reminisced about horrid days at the circus where injured people would scream 'DOES THIS LOOK INFECTED TO YOU!' at him. As if he was a doctor. But for some reason, he did more than they could do.However, their injuries really did look bad. Raz rolled his eyes, and the bus came to another infamous halt, nearly missing a baby carrige. This time, two horribly preppy-looking girls boarded along with two other boys, one who had blonde hair in an almost bowl-cut fashion, and the other with the WR shirt and a hat. The two girls, recognizable in their hideous girli-ness as Kitty and Franke sat in the front, with Nils, the blonde boy attempting to flirt. The last boy continued down the aisle.

"Oh dear crack on a stick! It's Vernon!" Lili whispered. Both kids in the back would've silently vomitted, but their parents had forgotten to feed them. Not their fault. Too busy. And the kids too late to get anything other than a lard laced popsnack'em. But no one likes those. Anyway, everything went in slow mothion as Vernon shouted,

"Raz! Lili! I have a story for you!" He came and sat on the seat opposite of Raz. and began droning. Raz and Lili screamed in their heads over and over trying to make it stop. But lo, it did not stop. Raz looked at Lili, and they both knew; if the story continued, they'd have to knaw off their own legs to survive. Both tried their best to ignore it.

An hour later, all kids had been picked up, Dogen had joined Raz and Lili in the private hell space in the back that everyone else could seemingly ignore, Lili was on the verge of melting Vernon, while Raz held fantasies of unlocking the emergency exit and screaming bloody hell as he jumped out, and Dogen was resisting the urge to make Vernon explode. Which, he probably would've done had it not been for the bus coming to a complete halt, thrusting everyone forward, and forcing a few kids flying out of their seats.

"Okay Chilluns! Get your buns and crap outta my bus!" The bus driver roared. Vernon stopped long enough for Raz, Lili, and Dogen to charge off the bus faster than anyone else.

The other kids piled out and Coach Oleander walked up to them.

"Okay kids, come to the big happy non-goverment watched campfire space for rules, guidelines and other crap!" When no one really paid much attention, Oleander blew a fuse. Quite literally, too. With a loud bang, he exploded and flew off to somewhere.

"Umm... I guess we go to the campfire area now..." someone said aloud in a timid way, almost as if afraid he'd be next. With uncertain nods from everyone, they left the bus area, leaving the Driver to do his crotch-fishing.

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Okay yeah woot. I hope anyone and everyone enjoyed that little piece of...whatever it is. Don't worry, Coach Oleander isn't dead. No one REALLY dies. they just get flung out of a chapter or two. 

Sorry, but towards the end, I ran out of randomness. I'll do better when I feel like it. Read and Review please. (All Flames will be sacked)


	2. Warning: Exploding Furry children

Many of you might be wondering, (if I still have viewers...) what the crap was up with that last chapter? well, that's how I roll, and if you haven't figured it out yet, I'm partially insane.Mmyep... anyway. DELICIOUS WEENIES!

Note: I couldn't seem to make this chapter as random as the last.

Disclaimer: oh come on the risu mafia would've killed me by the time I owned Psychonauts. I dun own it. yet. heh heh. Or much else. Except for Spunky, who will arrive eventually.

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**Chapter 2: Warning: Exploding furry Children**

"Raz, my Spleen hurts." Dogen whined as the children walked toward the campfire area.

"You know what they say about hurting spleens, don't you?" Bobby sneered. Dogen shook his head no. "you explode! AHAHAHAHH!"

"Meheheheheheheheheheheh." Benny sniggled. Dogen gulped and began to shiver. Lili, however, was quick to anger, turning slightly demonic, shescreamed in some foreign language, and began to pummel them to a bloody pulp. Everyone watched for a moment, then decided they'd see more gore later, and continued walking until they reached the "non government" fire-circle area.

Raz, Lili, and Dogen sat down together and Dogen rubbed his spleen area. Coach Oleander appeared out of no where with a large bandaid around his midsection, got up to the microphone, and began to drone.

Once more, Raz and Lili were put to a state of temporary insanity. Everyone else somehow a way to pass the time. The Coach paused breifly to make sure everyone was listening, then oblivious to the children, attempted to introduce the temporary teachers.

"Sasha and Milla are on vacation cause they're...uh...erm...snerf...guh..." Oleander sniggered for some time and excused himself as two fairly young ladies stepped onto the stage. He then disappeared into a void of doom.

"HIMYNAMESKANNAI'LLBETEACHINGTELEPORTATION!" The one with white hair and a white lab coat screamed, then fell to the floor and twitched. The other one, clad in a black coat with black hair and stuff, stepped over Kanna and up to the mic.

"Hello, I'll be giving you a workout so feirce you'll be wanting to die five minutes into it, and i have another job. My name is Ami." she paused on seeing their faces, and turned to Kanna who was now convulsing. "She's just slightly insane. But never mind that. I am NOT goth/emo so stop thinking that. YOU WERE THINKING THAT WEREN'T YOU!" She screamed and pointed a crazed finger at Dogen. Suddenly, Nils also screamed and said,

"SHAZZAM!"

At that very moment, Dogen exploded. Everyone turned around and stared at a very traumatized Lili and Raz. Then at Nils, who was staring at his hands as if he'd gained a new power, and then to Bobby who had his mouth agape.

"Well, don't look at ME!" he snorted whismically.

"But you did say that he'd explode and stuff..." Phoebe confirmed, while eating a piece of fire wood.

"Screw that! But more importantly, what the hellyou eating?" he asked wide-eyed.

"ITS MINE!" she screamed and ran off, leaving everyone more confused and slightly in wonder.

"Wait! I think that if I say a certain word, people explode!" Nils confirmed.

"Don't be stupid, fool. Nothing like that can happen. It was merely coinci-" Ami started.

"SHAZZAM!" Nils screamed in rebellion, and exploded. Ami stared, as well as everyone else.

"Okay kids, no more making explosions or Smokey the Bear will come and kill us in our sleep." Kanna seemed to have regained composure and shoved Ami out of the way to speak. "So everyone go and get some sleep and we'll send these two boys to the nurse."

"But how?" Raz asked. "There's nothing left to take!"

"DO NOT QUESTION MY AUTHORITY!" Kanna squerched. Raz nodded quickly and Kanna continued. "Go to bed now and don't forget to not remember anything that happened here." She gaved a twitchy smile, then left followed by Ami who looked fairly irritated.

"What the Hell just happened?" Lili turned to Raz.

"It would probably be best if we ignored it. Just let the bad things extinguish themselves..." Raz advised. Lili nodded and went to her cabin while Raz overheard Chops and JT talking.

"Do you really think saying that word makes people explode?" Chops asked.

"What, Shazzam?" and then, Benny, who was about to smack them both, exploded.

"HOLY SHNIKEE!" Raz, Chops, and JT screamed. Bobby ran up and started frothing.

"NOOO! MY MINION!" he vainly shouted. Raz, Chops, and JT ignored him and continued walking. Raz reached his cabin and found that only Maloof and Mikail were left.

"I thought there'd be more people. Where is everyone?" Maloof asked them two.

"Conspiracy. Hairless bear would know." Mikail answered with a knowing nod. Raz and Maloof stared at him for some time before ignoring it and getting ready for bed.

**In the girls cabin**

"So Lili," Elka walked up to Lili. "How far are you and Raz?" she smirked and put a chubby arm onto Lili's top bunk. Elka had certainly let herself go, after dumping JT and getting dumped by Nils, and had turned a ghostly shade of obesity. Lili's head snapped to attention as her eyes threw daggers at Elka. "I thought so, poor boy, being with an emo goth like you."Elka continued.Suddenly, the cabins lights went out and the cabin itself started shaking.

"AUG! What the fruits happening?" Chloe asked. "This feeble human shelter is breaking! ABANDON BUNK!" and she ripped open the screen door and ran into crystal who screamed,

"OMG SHAZZAM!" before exploding, causing Chloe to explode as well. But that was merely a brief deter from what was happening inside. Lili grew sharp pointy teeth and claws. Her eyes rolled into her head as she exclaimed,

"YOU HAVE INVOKED MY WRATH! PREPARE FOR THE WORST HELLISH HELL-PART OF YOUR LIFE YOU GET TO ENJOY!"

Elka burped in extreme terror as the whole camp seemed to shake, and for about an hour, no kid could sleep and kept hearing terrified screams and the occasional burpcoming from one of the cabins. And then, it stopped.

**Back with Raz**

Raz felt his eye twitch as the horrors seemed to die down. Suddenly he heard his cabin screen door open and footsteps come closer to him.

"Hey Raz, my cabin exploded, so I'm sleeping in here."

"What? Wait, Lili?"

"Duh." Lili said plainly as she made a spot next to Raz's bunk.

"Why aren't you in one of the girl's cabins?"

"No one has a brain. And I'm almost certain that several of them like each other. In THAT way."

"That's gross... Well, whatever. As long as the teachers don't find you or anyone else finds you in here. If they do, you're screwed. I'm pretty sure the teachers are insane." Raz rolled over.

"Join the club." Lili rolled her eyes.

"Oh, hey, wait. What happened to your cabin?" Raz sat up.

"Most certainly nothing demonic or evil.." Lili said with her eyes shifting back and forth quite suspiciously.

"oh, whatever.." Raz laid back down and attempted not to think anymore.

"Heh...Thanks Rasputin."

**Morning**

When Raz woke up he saw that Mikail and Maloof weren't in the cabin. He got dressed into his usual attire and smacked his goggles to his face. He then walked outside and found Chops and JT talking.

"Hey guys, what's goin on?" he asked.

"We're trying to figure out if saying Shazzam-" JT was cut off, because at that very moment, Bobby, who was sneaking up behind Raz, exploded with a 'piff' noise.

"HOLY CRACK OF ALL POT IT DOES WORK!" JT screamed. Chops and Raz stared at him as he began twitching.

"Ok then..." Chops said.

"Do you know what this means?" JT asked him.

"A taboo?"

"NO! A secret weapon! All we have to do is say...um... that word and our enemies will be vanquished!" JT exclaimed.

"What word?" Lili walked up to them and asked.

"Oh, nothing. Just Shazzam." Chops told her. And then, all Hell broke loose as JT exploded.

"OMG! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" Quenton suddenly screamed. It was then, that all children, besides Raz and Lili started running around in circles screaming like there was no tomorrow. Then, an outburst.

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! SHAZZAMSHAZZAMSHAZZAM!" It was Clem.

BOOMBOOMBOOM. Clem, Milka, and Quenton all exploded simultaneously, which caused Chops and Phoebe to also get caught in the 'splodeyness of doom, and implode.

Raz and Lili looked at each other as Kanna and Ami approached.

"Hmm, I was wondering why all the students hadn't showed up." Kanna said with a slight laugh.

"Look at all the children bits..." Ami said and poked the remains of Clem.

"Hmmm...they'll all need to see the nurse." Kanna advised.

Raz and Lili sweatdropped as the teachers made some horrible puns.

"Who's left?" Ami asked.

"Not many." Kitty put out. The traumatized remaining "chillen's" shook in fear, with the exception of Lili, who seemed to be enjoying herself quite much.

"I kinow, but who?" Ami asked again, her impatience showing, ready to strike any other small furry child that bothered her. Kitty gulped, and burst into tears.

"Like, hold me!" she screamed and jumped into Franke's arms. Everyone else backed up with nausia.

"Anyway," Kanna turned to the other children. "Since class already started and it would take too long to get to our classroom, we shall conduct classes here. M'kay?"

The children stared blanky at an optimistically smiling Kanna who then glared. "WE'RE STARTING CLASSES NOW!"

With that, the children nodded quickly and waited for her instructions.

"Mikail, I want you to say that word and blow up the teacher." Maloof whispered to Mikail.

"Sure, boss. What word shall I be saying?" Mikail queried.

Maloof sighed _This is gonna take some time..._

As Kanna continued droning, the children left, (A/n: I have a horrible memory thatI will be replacing with one I found on ebay, so the Dibbuns that are left are as listed: Franke, Kitty, Elton, Milka, Maloof, Mikail, and of course, Raz and Lili.) sat down and talked amounst themselves.

"So Elton," Lili approached Elton and Milka. "Have you seen that movie with Shaq 'O Neil?"

"No, Elton it could be a trick!" Milka squealed. Raz knew where this was going so he backed up and got ready to use his sheild, if need be.

_What's the worst that could happen? _Elton thought to himself. "Uhmmm... ooooh...I know this one...hold on... hmmm..is it Shizzle..? no...nah... its... no..."

Lili soon grew tired of waiting, and with an angery scream of freakish doom screamed," JUST SAY SHAZZAM DAMMIT!"

With that, Lili, Elton, and Milka went 'poof!'.

"Nooooo! LILI!" Raz shouted in vain. Kitty and Franke sat watching.

"Like, he just said, like Shazzam and stuff." Franke said, then with Kitty right next to her, they both 'sploded.

It was also right then where Maloof had gotton through to Mikail and finally had him scream it.

"AUGH! HAIRLESS BEAR MY ASS! SHAZZAM!" But, Maloof exploded causing a bit of Maloof bits to fly into Mikail, giving him mild head-trauma. Ami and Kanna glanced at each other with annoyed looks before sighing and looking at Raz.

Raz gulped and started twitching. Then everything went black with him hearing something like,

"Ehnnn... Kanna, start the boiler."

**Laterish**

Raz awoke with a pain in his head. He looked over and saw all the camp kids laying on hospital style beds with Kanna reading a random book.

"Ah You're awake. Good. Help me put a patch on this kid." Ami was standing over Mikail, and was apperently trying to put a band aid over his torso. But his random spazzes weren't helping.

"Wait, what?" Raz asked, vaugely confused.

"I'm the nurse this camp hired as well asthe fitness trainer. I have no psychic powers but vast knowledge about stuff." Ami stated plainly. She smacked Mikail and he stopped moving. "Kanna has psychic abilities, but barely any knowledge. Or brains for that matter."

Raz stared blankly some more before falling back onto his bed in a daze.

"Oh yeah, don't lay there too long. There's still some goo on your bed, and on you. It'll start burning like hell in five seconds." Ami said as she slapped a band aid onto Mikail.

**Somewhere in deep space**

_**"HOLY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL!"**_

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Phew, finally done. Sorry Chillens, I've been busy and lazy. oh, and if anyone has suggestions, plz send them in. Read and Review, if not, Spunky will be sad. -sad Spunky- 


	3. urggCan't think of a name

Holy crapstickle on a stick I didn't know my fic was loved so. Yees...and if anyone is wondering when Spunky is coming, (he will eventually) Its in the next chapter. And I'm sorry for my lazy-procrastinatin-stupidityness. I blame family.

Upon finally finishing that last chapter I realized a horrific mistake that had me screaming at the computer for several hours trying to change it. Well, I couldn't so my excuse is inserted here somewhere. Yeah. I accidentally left out Vernon. Too many characters. Meh. THE CHEESE! CAN'T YOU SEE THE CHEESE?

Disclaimer: I don't own Psychonauts or much else of anything ever mentioned in these insane peices of crap for an excuse of a fanfic nor the CIA or FBI...or Jedis... Except Spunky. I own Spunky's soul

Spunky: You only wish.

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**urggg...Cant think of a name...**

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! THERE'S A FUNGUS AMOUNG US!" Benny shouted, pointing an accusing finger at Milka.

Raz sighed. It was during fitness and everyone but him had failed; for the fifth time.Well, he WAS a psychonaut. So he should be cool like that.Anyway.

Tensions were high, and Lili was about to attack everything and utter fierce demonic incantations.

"You kids suck. Redo it again." Ami by now, was tanning due to the lack of intrest of making fun of the children. She'd done it so many times she ran out of insults, puns, and snappy one-liners. But, just as the Children were about to fall over and die from exhaustion, Kanna walked over and saved their asses.

"Okay chillens! We're gonna do stuff!" Kanna shouted while posing. The children stared at her while Ami shook her head silently in shame. Kanna let down her pose and stated blankly, "What? C'mon! Teleportation class!"

When no one replied (due to lack of energy) Ami got up and screamed,

"GO TO YOUR NEXT CLASS BEFORE I CHOP OFF YOUR ASSES AND MOUNT THEM ON A WALL!"

The children instantaneously obeyed and Teleportation class began.

"Oklee Doklee...The first thing needed to know is that when teleporting it is very important to teleport your whole self to a destination. If not, then you'd die, or be severly hurt depending on how much of you is lost..." Kanna continued speaking, while other children did stuff. (A/n: funny how teachers never seem to notice anything unless its what you do. Or at least MY teachers) Raz and Lili were sitting next to Quenton and Phoebe.

"Hey, what did you guys name your band?" Raz leaned over and asked.

Phoebe and Quenton sighed and looked slightly annoyed.

"Well?" Lili pushed.

"Well, when we tried to submit our band name, the Leviflames, my little sister got hold of the submission form and changed it." Phoebe sighed.

"Go on, tell them what your evil sister put down." Quenton urged.

"She wrote, and don't laugh, Fuzzly wuzzly poopy llama pops." Phoebe ended and banged her head on the table they were at. Quenton patted her on the shoulder. Raz had the sudden urge to vomit, while Lili went into a slightly temporary self-induced coma.

"Wow...um...yeah...that...sucks." Raz finally concluded.

"You're telling us." Quenton sighed. Raz then noticed Vernon writing profusely. Vernon looked up, seemed to show signs of thinking, and scribbled more on his paper stuff.

"What'cha doin'?" Raz asked a little too loudly.

"RASPUTIN! PAY ATTENTION!" Kanna screamed, as she threw a chalk eraser at his noggin. Raz fell out of his chair and Kanna disapeared, then reapeared standing over him. "Quit talking dammit!"

"Everyone else was talking!" Raz interjected. He was rewarded with another chalk eraser smack. "AHG! What the freak?"

"QUIT TALKING!" Kanna beat him with yet another eraser and disapeared up to the front of the class to continue on a lesson no one was paying attention to. Lili looked at Raz, then at Vernon and sighed.

"So Vernon, what's so important to you right now that you're actually showing signs of intelligence?"

Vernon looked up at her. "Well, last year, when the brain-stealing-thing was over, I tried to submit a novel about the stuff that went on, but it was turned down."

"What did you submit it as?" Raz asked. Another eraser flew into his head. "Ack!"

"SHUT THE (A/n: insert "bleep" here) UP, RASPUTIN!" Kanna screamed, still in an after-throw pose. Then she promtly turned and said, "Okay, everyone get into groups of three. We're going to practice teleportation."

"But I thought you said teleportation was dangerous!" Chloe piped up in the audience.

"No, I didn't, I DID say that if you got it wrong, you'd probably die, or get cut in half...or worse...I've seen it! Funny actually... but, whatever, Which is one of the reasons I put you guys into groups of three. Well, anyway, hop to it!"

With a few grunts of boredom, and painy whiny moans of pain, the children assembled into groups of three. Raz and Lili grouped up with Vernon. The other children don't matter, and this paticular author is still too lazy to put in detail for that matter.

"Okay chillen, now then. To teleport, once again, you have to focus your mind on a destination. But before we teleport ourselves, we must first learn the basics better. For practice, we will have three minds teleport a simple object, like a rock, or a small furry dog or something, to a simple location." Kanna used her mind and passed out small rocks to the groups. Except the Kitty, Franke and Nils group got a weasel!

Lili poked the rock and it wiggled. "Um, what kind of rocks are these?"

Kanna glanced around suspiciously. Then she replied with a smile. "Don't worry about that, just think of where you want to teleport the rock. Its not like it'llexplode or eat small furrychildren anyway." She nervously laughed and went to go help a random group.

Raz glanced over at Vernon who was studying the rock oddly and jotting things down. Elton suddenly raised his hand.

"Yes, you." Kanna pointed at Elton giving him the OK to speak.

"Well, I read in a dictionary that teleporting was moving from one place to another, so, logically, if we just threw the rock somewhere wouldn't we be easily teleporting the rock rather than using our minds?"

Everyone stared at Elton as he stared at the teacher with a blank face. Kanna merely blinked, and stated emotionlessly,

"True. But that way sucks and you should feel stupid for even talking."

"Yes, b-"

"I SHUN THEE!" Kanna screamed and put her arms in front of her face. Elton put his head down in shame and Milka patted his back.

Meanwhile, Raz concentrated on the rock and a destination. With a small 'piff' sound, the rock was gone. And then an extreme scream of terror and/or pain erupted from Maloof.

"Gasp! Small Boss!" Mikail shouted in concern.

"Arg... Dammit." Kanna pulled out a small radio and spoke into it "Ami, we've got a kid crying in pain here. Come get him."

And then Raz, slightly guilty for putting a rock in Maloof's ear instead of Bobby's head, he tried again. But, instaed, Benny suddenly started twitching and frothing and screaming.

"Make that two kids in pain." Kanna stated darkly.

"Make up your mind." Ami's scratchy voice eminated through.

_Well, it landed in Benny's head...hmmm... ehn... close enough._ Raz thought to himself.

The two children were picked up and taken away.

Since Raz had already teleported the rock, he turned to Vernon.

"So, back with my question, What did you submit the novel as?" He asked.

"Nonfiction. It was all true anyways." He replied.

"Well then of course they turned it down. No onw in their right minds would believe you." Lili cut in.

"The worst part is, as soon as the meeting to discuss the book was over, I accidentally walked into a government base. They knocked me out and Ithink theystuck a tracking device in me and are watching me, making sure I don't say anything about what I saw. But I'm pretty sure it was all just a dream because I woke up on my bed." Vernon reminisced.

"So, what did you see?" Lili asked.

"Well..."

**In some bushes nearby**

"Sir, I think he's squaking. Permission to fire?" On shadowy government-like figure stated.

"No. It's what they'llbe expecting..." The larger shadowy government-like figure replied.

**Back with the children**

"I really can't tell you. But, I am working on another novel. It's gonna rock." Vernon then waddled off to go write and stuff, muttering something about 'DAMMIT MY ASS IS BEEPING!'

Raz looked at Lili and shrugged. At least they could be alone together. Lili took Raz by the hand and led him behind a bush.

Now then, due to general I'm-not-gonna-talk-about-what-they-do-behind-that-bush-too-damn-lazy-and-bad-at-romance laziness, the story will shift over to Chops, JT, and Chloe.

Chops and JT were trying to teleport the rock, while Chloe was being of no help and staring at the sky.

Chops stopped and walked over to her. "Why can't you be of anymore help? All you've done is stare at the sky and sigh at random times."

Chloe looked up at him. "Puny earthling. You know not of what you speak. Soon my people will come for me, and you'll all be sorry for doubting me."

JT glanced at Chops. "Do ya think she's really a..." JT started.

"There's no telling. But I think we should let the boys back home know of this." Chops concluded.

"The who?" Chloe sat up and asked.

"FBI. You wouldn't know." JT was smacked by Chops.

"C'mon man, we can't blow our cover. Remember why they hired us?" Chops whispered.

"Because we were young, easily overlooked and can get past most adults without suspicion?"

"Duh. But we cant let people knowthat we're in the totally aweswome, freakishly cooler than the other government agancies,FBI."

"Riiiiiight."

**Nearby, about the same time, but with Kitty and Franke.**

"Whoo! Can you believe, we're like spies and stuff!" Franke asked Kitty.

"I know, it's like, the best ever!" Kitty mused.

"Whoo!The CIA Rocks! Its sooooooo much better then the other government agencies." Franke and Kitty suddenly overheard the word FBI and the word accompaning them.

Chops and JT suddenly heard the same thing. Except with the word CIA.

The two groups glared at one another before breaking out into screams.

"The CIA serves coffee in the mornng!" "THE FBI SERVES DOUGHNUTS!" "THE CIA HAS "CIA" IN IT!" "FBI HAS COOLER LETTERS!" "WE GET PRETTY COLORFUL OUTFITS!" "THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT! WE GET BLACK SUITS!"

This continued until Bobby walked over.

"What the hell are you losers screaming about!"

"OUR GOVERNMENT AGENCIES ARE COOLER THAN THEIRS!" They screamed in unison. Bobby rolled his eyes.

"Well, then. Why don't you guys just fight it out to see who's better instead of scream?"

A sudden look of revelation fell upon the four 'chillens'.

"Oh...right...heh...why didn't we think about that?" The children muttered among themselves.

"Duh. Now shut up so I can relax." Bobby lied as he walked off to go sell tickets to the event.

"Alrighty then, It's us cool FBI agents against y'all wussy CIA losers." JT challenged.

"We're not losers! We're like, so much cooloer than you dorky Freakish Boob Implants people!" Kitty shot back.

"GRRR!" They all screamed at each other, then lunged for the kill.

**Five minutes later**

Raz and Lili stepped out from the bush they were at. Both were severly dizzy from the...uh...erm...'ordeal' so they came back

The camp was a disaster. All who remained standing were Bobby and Kanna, who, Bobby was counting his largish generic wad of money for the tenth time, wondering how everyone was too stupid not to just cut around him instead of paying, and Kanna who was beating her head against a piece of wood out of sheer agony and lament for the class she had tried to teach.

"What happened? And where is everyone?" Lili asked. Kanna looked up.

"Nurses office. A**_gain._**" Kanna groaned the last word and continued bodily harm.

"Wow I feel bad for Ami" Lili stated.

"I wonder how she's doing?"

**With Ami**

_Dammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammitdammit...I'm going to kill Kanna for this...dammitdammitdammitdammit..._ Ami wasnt really paying attention to the kids she was treating, so some of them hurt worse than others.

"Um...Ami? You're hurting my arm." Milka said ever so timidly. Ami was so angry she unkowingly had unleashed the Vulcan Death Grip on Milka's arm.

Ami's eyes glowed and her head spun around 360 degrees before hissing evily and screaming,

"GET OVER IT WUSS!"

Milka shrank back with a 'meep' sound while the other children huddled in a corner.

**Back with Kanna and co.**

Raz remembered Kanna "Hey now... maybe you should stop...you could get hurt..." Kanna glared at Raz and threw an eraser at his face.

"DUN TELL MEH WAT TA DO!" She screamed. Raz fell back and Lili helped him up.

"So...Did you guys teleport the rock?" Kanna asked as sheperked up hopefully.

"Well, um yeah, sure." Razreplied slightly guiltily.

"WOOT!" Kanna shouted. "Well, anyway, It's time for lunch! You kids go get washed up! Ford's gonna make hamburgers!" She then skipped off happily leaving Bobby, Lili, and Raz alone.

Raz had forgotten about his mentor/teacher Ford. He made a mental note to go see him later, and pulled Lili along to the eating place.

**Eating place (for lack of better name, due to general idiocy)**

"THE BURGERS WILL BE DONE SOON!" Ford screamed "THIS GRILL WON'T LIGHT!" His eyes were popping out of his head and even after Raz and Lili offered to start the damn thing he was still in denail that he could actually cook.

"Please! Mr. Crueller! For the sake of all sanity, PLEASE JUST LET THEM LIGHT THE FREAKING THING!" Kanna yelled.

"THE BURGERS WILL BE DONE WHEN THEY'RE GOOD AND READY!" Ford screamed, now convulsing with crazy doom ferocity.

Raz suddenly remembered something that contradicts what was written in the first chapter.

"I Have a Muffin!" He shouted above the twitching Ford triumphantly. Kanna, Bobby, and Lili scooted closer.

Raz took off his backpack and dug around.

"I thought it was here. I remember the fat lady throwing it at my head." Raz sighed with defeat. (A/n: remember this point. It's slightly more important than anythingelse.)The other occupants shrank back in hopelessnss.

"I blame you!" Bobby pointed to Raz.

"ME!"

"Yeah you!"

"What did I do?"

"You're stupid!"

"You're mom's stupid!" Lili suddenly shouted. Raz stared at Lili while Bobby burst into tears.

"That's not nice! My mommy doesn't have any legs!" He continued to sob and ran out of the eating place, leaving a baffled Raz, Lili, and Kanna. Ford was still convulsing.

"So... Who's up for some squirrel?" Kanna piped up.

**And so, because the author is lazy, she's being stupid and skiping detail, and more classes. It's summed up below.**

So Raz and Lili Went on with their next classes, TheCoach's class, All the kids were better and all patched up. They learned that Milka and Elton were now a couple. Not only that,but Elka, who had gained about fifty pounds, had collasped under the weight of being dumped by Nils, and dumping JT. And, as much as she wanted JT back, because she now found out what she had missed, he rejected her saying she was a (A/n: BLEEP!).

Anyway Raz had finally gotten a chance to talk to Dogen alone, when Lili ran off to go beat the crap out of Nils for hitting on her, Raz was glad to see that his friend hadn't changed. Except he was wearing a cool beanie now, and could control his kickass powers of exploding people. They also found out why Vernon wasn't here in the last chapter. He was sent into an interdimentional void and spat back out just in time for this chapter.

After the Coach's class, there was a break, and then another one of Ami's classes.

**1 on 1 battling. This'll be good.**

"Okay kids. You've had a rough day. But, you only have one more class to go before Dinner and then bed." Ami summed.

The children relaxed.

"But, once again, I'm gonna make your class hell on Earth. Get ready. I'm gonna strengthen your psychic abilities by pitting you against one another."

Everyone turned to Bobby to see him grin maliciously, and they scuttled away in fear.

"Okay. I want Clem versus Crystal, Dogen versus Benny, and Mikail versus Bobby. We might have time for another fight, but we'll see. Okay, first up, I want Dogen and Benny. Everyone else, get behind me and watch."

A field was already carved onto the ground, so Benny and Dogen steppd into it.

"Okay, kids Rules are, no using weapons, no killing each other, " Ami eyed them suspiciously. "Anything other than that is accepted. I suggest using Psychic powers cause it'll scare off the possums."

The children eyed her oddly before turning away to watch the fight.

"Okay, start!"

Benny lept upon Dogen and started to punch him. Dogen jumped back and hissed. Dogen activated levitation and dodged Bennys psychic fists until he was set afire to.

Dogen rolled around before launching a confusion gernade at him. Benny dodged and screamed out,

"GOTTCHA NOW SHORTIE!"

Dogen stopped, (still on fire) and disapeared and reapeared next to him.

"What...did...you...call...me?" Dogen's eyes flashed red and he started screaming out random sayings. and then a sudden, " I SUMMON THE SQUIRRELS OF UNHOLY DOOMNESS AND PAIN!"

With a flash, and dramatic smoke, several mutated squirrels apeared and surrounded Benny.

"Um... Dogen...?" A wide-eyed Benny managed to squeak out. "I'm sorry...?"

With that, the squirrels lunged at him and pummeled him just to the point where he was put into a coma. But not dead. Too bad so sad. Ami sighed and declared Dogen the winner. She then radioed Kanna to come pick up the kid and be ready to pick up more. She snapped the radio shut and told Mikail and Bobby to step up as Dogen skipped happily off.

Bobby snapped his neck and popped his knuckles as Mikail stood there looking awfully cool and confident. Ami looked at one fighter to the next and shrugged her shoulders while sighing.

"Okay, ready? Now once again, I cannot stress how important it is to NOT kill your opponent, or brutally injure them.Things will get bad, and complicate themselves, and we'll be left to deal with the crap that was handed to us. M'kay? Start."

Bobby lunged for Mikail and he easily sidestepped it. Bobby then jumped into the air and smacked Mikail with his foot.

_Ergg... Must stay alive...hairless bear...tutu...hmmm... how to distract large haired fool? _Mikail thought to himself. Bobby was just about to come back when Mikail shouted

"Look Bobby, distraction!"

"Where?" Bobby's head swivled around and Mikail's psychic fist connected with his face. There was a delightfully sickening thud and down Bobby went. The children cheered and began to sing, 'Ding-dong the Witch is Dead' but Ami threw pieces of meat at them to shut them up.

"Dear Goid this is getting nowhere... Okay, whatever, Mikail, please drag Bobby's semi-lifeless corpse off the area and send him to Kanna." Ami stated while rubbing her temples.

Mikail took Bobby by the hair and dragged him away. Ami watched the specticle before twitching her eye and calling up Crystal and Clem.

Elton, who was right next to Raz and Lili whispered to Milka about how Clem and Crystal were taken over by the spirits of fallen sad Jedis to roam the world in sadness and eternal pain and partially suffering. Raz looked to Lili, and Lili looked to Raz.

"Theres gonna be new hospital applicants, isn't there?" Lili asked.

"Yep," Raz stated back. He then took Lili by the arm and led her back about five feet and prepared to activate his sheild, if need be.

"Okay...yadda ya...no weapons...fight fairly...whatever... just start." Ami waved her hand in an uncaring manner and Clem and Crystal stepped into the area.

"Okay, Clem, here i come!" Crystal slow-ran to Clem.

"Me too!" Clem slow-ran to Crystal.

And the began to sissy slap each other.

"Ehn! erg! eehhhhh! ennnnnnhhhh!" were some of the random noises made.

The other children looked at each other and sweatdropped. Lili and Raz stared blankly at each other, and sensing the sudden impending doom, backed up several hundred feet.

Suddenly, to everyone's surprise, and eternal fear, Clem and Crystal fell to the ground and began twitching anf frothing as a green colored glow encircled them. They slowly got to their feet as the other children and Ami made "ooh" faces and stared.

"Manikan, Have you finally learned your lesson?" Crystal asked, in the most unlike Crystal voice.

"I'll never forvive you, Hobione!" Clem clenched his teeth. "You destoryed my love! And my life!" Clem pulled out a light saber as Crystal did likewise and they flew at each other in a random rage.

"Manikan! Get a hold of yourself! It was the evil in you! The cheese side has taken over you! Come back to the milk side!" Crystal shouted as she pushed against Clem's blade.

"NEVER! I LIKE THE CHEESIES!" Clem pushed away from Crystal. "I HATE YOU HOBIONE!"

"DON'T DO IT MANIKAN!" Crystal shouted as Clem jumped up into the air in a lunge. Crystal pushed her Light Saber up and over, and Clem fell to the ground, missing all of his limbs, and heavily unconscious. "MANIKAN!NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Crystal fell to the ground, and the glow surrounding them both disapeared. "Ohhh...Oh No! Dear Lard No! NOT AGAIN! WHY? WHHHHHYYYYYYYYY-" And Crystal was knocked out by Ami.

"Dear Lard this is annoying. Here, Nils, take these two to Kanna. I don't feel like it."

But Nils was on the ground, twitching.

"The full moon...It's happening...I CAN FEEL THE POWER!" Nils shouted.

The children once again shrivled into a nonexistant corner and huddled together. Nils' body warped and grew bigger. Then in an instant, he shrunk. The children, in a horrified manner stared down at Nils, then Maloof, courage summoned, wlked over and picked him up.

"It's a...sponge." He summed. The children gasped and Ami walked over.

"I should have known. But i was too lazy. Oh well..." She picked Nils up and walked away. "Oh yeah, you guys are dissmissed. Go eat dinner or whatever you do."

The children, in a blind zombie-like state filed into the Cafetearia type place to feast on spoiled dirt-meat.

But litle did they know...A shadow-like shadow watched them from the shadows. And another Chalk eraser smacked Raz.

* * *

Whoo! fianlly done! I'm sorry for the long time between that update. Procrastination turned into laziness and then I went on a Vacation. and camp is coming up, so don't expect a new chapter for a while. Ugh... not only that, but My stupid school is forcing most of the 9th graders to do serveral essays over the summer. I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED! 

Spunky: I told you.

Silence fool! grr...them squeezy cheezies...well, until next time, read and review or the Spunky will be sad.

Spunky: I will?

yes.


	4. Enter Spunky: Muffin of Doom Part 1

Erg... I've not had my sleep... Well, let's see how messed up this can get.

the irony is that i've just been to camp, acutally, three. THREE FRICKIN CAMPS! AUGHHH!

Spunky: Bankarasu doesn't own Psychonauts, and if she did, I'd auction it of on ebay while she slept. muahahah

* * *

**Enter Spunky: Muffin of Doom Part 1**

_"Raz! Someone's stolen all the Childrens brains!" Someone screamed._

_"Oh no! I've got to go save them!" Raz exclaimed. "But wait... Something's missing! Oh no!" he looked down, and suddenly he was surrounded by hundreds of brain-dead children laughing at him. "I have to save the world again, in my underpants! NOOOOOOO!"_

Raz woke up covered in sweat. He shuddered wildly at his insane dream.

He sat up and rubbed his head. Looking out of the door-window he got up and decided to take a walk. But suddenly, two gueasels popped up and draged him out of the cabin.

"Pay up kid... C'mon... Where's the stuff? C'mon c'mon... We need the stash!" Gueasel 1 said.

"What? What're you talking about?" Raz asked.

"C'mon...We know you have it... the pills, THE PILLS!" Gueasel 2 pushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about, and if you don't put me down, I'll set you on fire." Raz darkly growled.

But suddenly, Gueasel 2 fell to the ground in an evil twitchy doom and frothed loudly. Gueasel 1 screamed all high-pitched like and ran off, leaving Raz alone with the downed Gueasel 2.

"Um, yeah...I'll just be going now." Raz then 'weaseled' his way out of where he was and looked up at the sky. He sighed and took a brief insight on the past days at camp. _Why does it seem that my life just keeps getting weirder and weirder? It suddenly feels like someone of high, almost author-likepower keeps laughing at me, as if my life is something that they read all the time, and then cruelly laugh the cruel laughs of cruelness very cruelly and stuff._

But, Before Raz could ponder further in his suspicions, he was hit in the head by an eraser, followed by a loud, slightly incoherent, "RAZ! GET TO BED!" and he then fell unconscious.

**6:00**

"Raz? Raz Darling?"

Raz opened his eyes partly and saw a worried Sasha and Milla looking down at him.

"Rasputin, what are you doing on the ground?" Sasha asked.

"Looking for my sanity." Raz said almost sarcastically.

"Well you should be in your cabin right now. C'mon, we'll walk you back." Milla offered.

" Okay." Raz got to his feet. "I have alot to tell you guys anyway. But where were you? Coach Oleander wouldn't tell us."

Sasha and Milla looked at each other nervously and coughed suspisiously.

"Erm, I think that's a story for another day." Sasha stuttered.

**Augh...Back at the cabins**

"Okay Raz, go to sleep this time and try not to take any more walks at night alone." Milla told Raz quite sternly. Then, she and Sasha walked off. They got raided by the two ominous Gueasels later, just so you know

"That was weird." Raz said to himself. He got into his bed and fell asleep.

And because the author is somehow too damn lazy to separate the words and make them bold, two hours later Raz awoke with Maloof and Mikail poking him.

"Come cabinmate Raz, feast is about to be beginning." Mikail said.

"Yeah, come on we want to eat and everyone's waiting on you." Maloof added.

"Okay, I'm up, you can stop poking me." Raz said as he got up.

"Aw..." Mikail and Maloof said while putting the "Probulatamatronicostuspoketrix V 2.38549 3/4" back behind them.

They went off to the lunch hall. Inside the children were waiting impatiently, with the exception, of Phoebe and Quenton, who were beating their heads against the table, as usual. Crystal and Clem had found a stash of the Coach's secret arsenic stash. And you can only guess what they were doing

"Finally!" Bobby spat. "Geez, where were you goggalicious?"

"Trying to find your sanity! Oh wait, you have none!" Raz spat back. Bobby was about to add more when Ford spoke up.

"Okay now kids, since we ran out delicious weenies, and other assorted breakfast foods, we'll have to dine on muffins. And maybe if we run out, each other!"

The children filed into a line to get their muffin-filled breakfast, when all of a sudden, Kanna burst through the doors!

"The muffins!" she gasped. Everyone turned to look at her. "The muffins are floating away!"

Then everyone rushed out the door.

"OMIGOSH! MUFFINS!" Crystal screamed.

"Be free my little poptarts!" some white haired kid screamed as he threw muffins from out a bag. The muffins stalled in the air, and flew away. Suddenly a brick came from nowhere and smacked him on the head. The boy fell over unconscious and began to flail.

"Everyone back away from him, don't touch him yet, you can throw rocks at him later. I'll go warm up the stretchermobile." Ami said bitterly.

"What do you think it is?" Chloe asked.

"Probably an alien!" Benny gushed.

"Now, now children there's no such thing as aliens." Sasha said. He then began to give the children a talk about stuff that the author is too lazy to name.

Raz and Lili took a look at the boy. He wore black pants and a shirt that was cut vertically down the middle and backside and tied together. He had no shoes, but he had white wings protruding from his back.

"Weird." Raz said. Lili nodded as she began to pour gasoline over the boy.

**Part 1 end**

Yeah, I hoped you guys enjoyed.

And Of course it's short, I've been busy all month. And I will be for a while. yeah. But my days are getting filled up. sigh. Ididn't want to finish mostly becuase I haven't updated in a while and i thought maybe SOMEONE would miss me. (not).

Oh well. look forward to more. Read and review, or once again, Spunky will be sad.

Spunky: LIES!


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